I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
