Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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