Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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