2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
