this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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