dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
