she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
