If i come over, it means nothing
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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