i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
