how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
