Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
