I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
