I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I lost the right to judge tonight
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
