I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
