Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
