Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When are your genitals available?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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