I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
