I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
