i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
