nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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