GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
