We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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