matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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