I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
