My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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