no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
