if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
