turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
