She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
