you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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