stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
