I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
