Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
