just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i barfeds in our rink
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
