some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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