and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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