ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
