i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
