Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
