do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
