i think my mom watched the whole time
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
