She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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