your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
