just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
