And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
