I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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