...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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