he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
