I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
