I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
