.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
