i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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