It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
