MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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