my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
