She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
