Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So apparently I’m into choking now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
