Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
