Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
