discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
